It is your responsibility to make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominating influence of your mind. --Napoleon Hill
Short answer. You are.
In order to understand this concept, I am going to get a little sciency on you. Please note, I am NOT an expert, but, I have acquired some knowledge on the brain's function through my own research, and through that experience, I am sharing with you what I have learned. It really has helped me understand the biology of my own emotions, which in turn, has helped me gain greater self-awareness.
Ok, so here is how feelings are created.
Something happens to you; you get some form of external stimuli. When you woke up this morning, the first thing you had was your self-talk. For example, "Ok, time to get up to face the day" or perhaps your inner chatter sounded more like this: " I am so not looking forward to today". Whatever your self-talk sounds like, it sets the tone for the day.
And as you go about your morning, you begin interacting with others, dealing with screaming children, perhaps someone is knocking at the door causing the dog to go bark crazy, or the kitchen was a mess... Whatever your world consists of, you have stimulation coming into your brain.
When a certain stimulus enters your brain, your brain automatically interprets it. This process is done without you even being aware of it; it happens automatically. That said, whatever comes into your brain, you assign a meaning to it. You assign it as either a positive or negative experience and as soon as meaning is assigned, you have a feeling and that emotion generates your reaction.
Depending on the situation at hand, you might tell yourself things like "ah shit, today is already going terribly", or "why am I always the only person to clean up around here?", or if you are a relatively positive person, you might be thankful for the new day and be quite calm through the chaos. In any case, there is one thing or another going on in your mind.
As you start to understand that your feelings come from the meaning you assign to a particular situation or experience, you can go back to the thought, "unpack it" and change it - not only does this allow your mind to slow down, it also allows you to think more effectively and choose better responses. That is a huge part of being more mindful!
You are not responsible for others, their thoughts, actions, and feelings, but you are responsible for your own. Being mindful requires you to take a step back, analyze your current state and choose your response.
Perfectly Imperfect,
Stephanie
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