Embracing mistakes in life is no easy task. If you are like me, admitting a mistake is difficult enough, never mind accepting it. Mistakes hurt because we are taught that mistakes equate to failure! Until recently, I too believed that. I have made my fair share of mistakes over my short 38 years of life, and for a long time, it affected my self-esteem and self-worth.
Mistakes makes us feel disappointed, angry and often, embarrassed; all of which are negative feelings we are conditioned to ignore rather than deal with and grow from. I remember being a child and my parents grounding me or yelling at me for my mistakes, which then translated into me being overly critical of myself when I made a mistake. As I reflect on this fact, I now realize that my parents did the best they could to teach me life lessons, which I now know was out of love, but for a long time I felt belittled and unworthy.
For a long time I tried to control things in my life that were completely out of my control. It affected my relationships, my work and the way I felt about myself! I got stuck in this cycle of needing to feel valued by others to a point where I actually drove people away, rather than bringing them closer.
Often, mistakes leave most people feeling inadequate, worthless, and undervalued. For me it felt like an emotional prison that I just couldn't escape. We tend to avoid taking responsibility for our mistakes and behaviours because we don't want to admit our imperfections and we don't want to feel the pain that often accompanies.
I started my journey in mindfulness a couple of years ago during which time I learned a thing or two about making mistakes. First, EVERY ONE makes mistakes!!!! No one person on this planet is perfect, not one! Hmmm, what a concept right?! Second, I learned that once you let go of the judgements (yes, stop judging yourself for making mistakes!!) you allow yourself to really examine the issue at hand and to learn from the experience.
While mistakes and failures don't feel like learning opportunities, when you begin to acknowledge and accept our imperfections, we begin to understand that they are gifts which teach us life lessons. We need to stop being defined and restrained by our mistakes and begin taking responsibility for them. When we begin to pay attention to the choices we make, own them, learn from them, we finally begin to grow! I urge everyone to begin to equate mistakes to life lessons because in the end, that is truly what they are.
What life lessons exist in mistakes?
Mistakes teach us to accept our imperfections and face our fears. Acknowledging our imperfections, flaws and all, allows us the freedom to make mistakes and be ok with them. We are conditioned to put ourselves down when we make mistakes, when instead we should be appreciating our "human-ness" and taking these moments to grow. Our imperfections are what make us unique! Sometimes even our best efforts are greeted with failures, and despite trying again, we fail again. It's OK! When we work to face those fears (of failing) we can be humbled by the support of others who can assist us on our journey toward our goals.
Mistakes teach us to become more clear about what it is we want. Acknowledging and accepting our mistakes and failures helps us to get in touch with our wants and desires. Through our mistakes and failure we begin to better understand what it is we want and need and then focus our energy to getting back on track toward our goals. It allows us to establish a better plan, redefining what we want and seek better clarity about our goals.
Mistakes teach us a lot of ourselves and to become more honest within. Accepting our failures, mistakes and shortcoming allows us to become more honest with ourselves. When we can admit our mistakes, we allow ourselves the freedom to learn from them. We also pave the way toward growth and self-development, which in the end, is far more rewarding.
Mistakes teach us integrity and responsibility. Maturity comes when a person can admit their mistakes and take responsibility for the choices they make. Blaming others for your shortcomings only delays the inevitable and doesn't promote good and positive relationships in your life. Which leads me to integrity. When we own our imperfections and choices, admit them and learn from them, we develop a sense of integrity which demonstrates responsibility, respect and courage all of which are admirable traits.
Mistakes teaches others. Accepting our mistakes and imperfections teaches others that it is ok to be imperfect. By admitting our shortcomings, we allow others to accept and learn from their mistakes.
Growth is a journey. Life is a journey. Life is beautiful. YOU are beautiful!
Perfectly imperfect,
Stephanie
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