Today's post was inspired by the changing season. Where I am from, the season of colourful trees is in full swing. The colours of Fall typically only last a few days, maybe a couple of weeks as trees prepare for the winter "drought" forcing the leaves to begin their annual transition from summertime shades of greens to beautiful fiery colours until eventually the leaves drop and fall to the ground.
As I walked from my car to my office this morning, I was in awe of the beautiful colours of the changing leaves. I was inspired to take a moment, admire nature's beauty, snap a couple of pictures and take a few deep, fresh outdoor breaths of air.
You know the old saying, "stop and smell the roses". Stopping to smell the roses is taking the time to notice and acknowledge the moments in our lives that bring us joy, and seeing what causes that feeling. This saying is not just about nature but a sentiment that involves deeper gratitude for the world around us. It is a reminder to slow down, and to be present in every moment, seeing beyond the day-to-day.
It's so easy to get caught up in the details of life or to lose ourselves in the day-to-day. In return, we feel constantly exhausted, stressed and overworked. We forget to take a moment to breathe which is essential for our health. We forget to eat healthily and get enough exercise and sleep. All of which are at the expense of our well-being.
So when we take the time to stop and "smell the roses", we allow ourselves the opportunity to take those deep, calming, and healing breaths and allow our brain to take a break, even if only for a few short moments.
We can stay as long or as little as we desire, but taking "in" the moment creates space to observe the space around us, notice how we are feeling in that moment and clear our mind from the hustle and bustle of life. Life is hard. So we must take every opportunity to stop and smell the roses once in a while.
I am an overthinker. I ruminate about the day's event, and what I could have or should have done better. I worry about my children. I worry about my efforts on the job. I constantly worry about everything. This takes so much energy from me, from my life. Every moment I spend worrying about everything is a moment I take away from something important.
I can never get back the time I wasted worrying about all the things I had no control over. So I learned to "stop and smell the roses" and made it a common practice in my life so that I purposefully make myself available to the people and things in my life that matter most, and let go of the rest that don't serve me.
Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go
The changing season is an opportunity for self-reflection and letting go of the things that are no longer serving you. What I love about Fall or Autumn, is that it shows us how beautiful it is to let go.
Letting go is difficult, but necessary. It doesn't have to happen all at once, but much like the falling leaves, you can begin to let go of one thing at a time. Holding onto things we cannot control, people who create toxicity in your life, or thoughts, emotions, or beliefs that are feeding into your sense of unworthiness will prevent you from being and feeling your best.
We stress about so many things, and I would bet that if you took a moment to " stop and smell the roses" and reflect on all the things you are stressing out about, you'd realize pretty quickly the majority of your stresses are over things over which you have no control. So much wasted time and energy.
Here are a few good questions to reflect on when you find yourself stressed about something:
1) Are the things you are worrying about within your control? If not, stop! Unless there is something you can do to change the outcome, let it go. Remember, you can't control the weather, and what happens to you or others. But, you can control yourself, your thoughts, and behaviours. You can also control what you choose to worry about! I know this sounds easier said than done, but I am speaking to you with experience.
When I took the time to reflect on my thoughts and the things I was stressing about, I assessed whether or not it was something I could control or influence. If it wasn't, I told myself, "it is what it is. There isn't anything I can't handle and when I need to deal with it, I will, but for now, there isn't anything I can do, so let it go". Over time, it got easier!!
2) Is worrying about it serving you or helping you? Does worrying about it make your life easier? Harder? You choose what you want here... Easier sometimes is just saying "no, this is not my responsibility" or "no, this is not my problem". I am not suggesting that you wash your hands of everything, or not help others when they need it. No, what I am saying, is not to own the problems of others, when they are not yours to own.
For instance, at work, my colleague constantly complains about how overloaded she is (the reality is, we all are), I acknowledge her stress, but I don't own it. I have enough of my own things to do and I do what's within my power to do to get it done. I can't control what will come at me, but I can control how I choose to react to others and the circumstances that I am facing. Instead of complaining about my workload, I create "to-do" lists, I schedule time in my schedule to complete priorities and I make sure to create timelines to get the rest of my workload done. The things that I can control I do, everything else, well, it'll be there and I will deal with it as needed. Ah! There is soooooo much freedom in this!
3) What are you holding onto that no longer feels good? Is what you are holding onto more harmful than good? Maybe it is time for you to reflect on what it is you really want. Because when we give permission to the things or people that harm or hurt us, we allow them to continue to happen and be present in our life. If it harms you, let it go! Sometimes the things we think we want, aren't at all what we need.
4) What do you have to gain (or lose) by focusing so much time and energy on these worries? By constantly stressing about things, I have a lot to lose. I miss out on quality time with my kids. I am more distant and closed to affection from the ones that love me most. I miss out on the small, happy moments in my life - simple pleasures like enjoying a cup of coffee fully, or being available to others who need me. I miss out on noticing all the good things happening in my life, in the lives of the others I love and care about. I miss out on the goofy and quirky things my kids do and which we laugh about together. I miss out on so much!
You have so much to gain by letting it go. So I urge you to stop and smell the roses. At least once a day. Go for a walk and take notice of everything around you. Sit in your office chair, close your eyes and take 10 long deep breaths. Meditate. Whatever works for you. Because in the end, life goes fast, like really fast, and when you don't stop to smell the roses 🥀 , the next thing you know, you are old and are wishing you could relive all of these precious moments so you can better appreciate what life offered you.
Perfectly Imperfect,
Stephanie
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