Odetta, the author of "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...", must have truly understood the concept of the power within. I believe that what she was trying to express the importance of allowing ourselves to tap into our spiritual source and let it shine!
It took me a long time to understand this, but now I hold the lyrics of that song true within my own core. We all have a light within us, that when permitted to shine, is a limitless supply of infinite love, wisdom, and energy.
For a long time, I felt like my light was so dim, it could hardly be seen by anyone. Inside, I felt lost. So, I would sink into my work, volunteerism, and other projects as a means to avoid facing my inner reality.
After high school, in an effort to find me in this world (and also cope with my unresolved issues - which I didn't know was the case then) I kept myself insanely busy. In college, despite being a full-time student, I worked 3 jobs and refereed intramural sports, and partied a lot. After I graduated this trend continued into my career. I joined a bunch of boards of directors (I was on like 5 at one time), coached baseball, and joining multiple committees, not to mention working and being a mom and wife.
As I look back now, I have come to realize that keeping myself busy was nothing but a coping mechanism, and avoidance tactic, to avoid feeling and facing my emotional issues. But admittedly, I was incredibly fortunate along my journey toward self-discovery to have met some amazing people who truly brought the best out of me.
I remember one of my colleagues complimented me on my leadership skills, in complete surprise, I asked him why he gave me that compliment. He replied "because it is true! You have an amazing way of bringing people together and working toward a common goal while maintaining respect for everyone's contributions no matter how small. Stephanie, you are a rare breed".
Can you picture my face filled with both gratitude and confusion? What he said meant so much to me, but at the same time, I didn't see those qualities in myself, so I couldn't understand why he felt that way...
I didn't believe in myself.
A few years ago I realized that if I were to find any happiness in life, I would need to take a deep dive within myself and work through some of the shit I'd been harboring for such a long time. I had no idea it would lead me to where I am today, but I just knew I had to do something. Every day, day by day, I was getting better. My light started to shine brighter and brighter as worked through my stuff and began believing in myself.
I still have work to do, because my journey toward becoming the best version of myself will never end - that's why it is called a journey. I will always have something to work through but it is easier to face every time! My journey has taught me so much, but most of all it taught me to let my light shine bright and live my most authentic self!
When I surrendered, I experienced a significant shift in consciousness - I began on the journey toward enlightenment. Everything started to change. I suddenly started to attract more positivity, clarity, inner peace, and self-acceptance in my life.
Enlightenment (inner light), is not something that is only found among Monks or through extensive "Zen" training. Enlightenment is a vibrational realignment of energy that unfolds as we shed our inauthenticity (facades, masks, etc) and begin living authentically (true Self).
Honestly, it begins with the desire to change ourselves. Not our environment, the people, or things in our lives, but through an honest and committed effort to become the best version of ourselves. When we make the decision to acknowledge doubt and let go of every limiting belief that we've held onto our entire lives, are open to acknowledging that these beliefs might be wrong, and are willing to accept an entirely different way of thinking, automatically our light begins to shine brighter!
And the best part? When we surrender our emotional selves, the hardest part is already over. In surrendering, we accept the worst versions of ourselves (jealousy, resentment, judgment, anger, sadness) and open ourselves up to working toward the best versions of ourselves.
It is not easy, nor is it neat and pretty, but it is a raw and real process that restores integrity and worthiness from within. This process eradicates suffering and is the gift of real freedom!
It begins with acknowledging ourselves and our emotions, in the present moment. When we stop, think about, and feel an emotion in the moment, we can begin to observe it from within and work to better understand where it is coming from (likely from limiting beliefs or unmet needs). As we remain present, the lightness of your Self restores momentum to heavy and stuck energy. Observe and feel the heaviness of your emotion and shine the light of conscious awareness on it. Don't judge it.
The more emotions are judged, ignored, rejected, and left unfelt, the heavier that energy becomes, thereby giving it power over us! This restriction of energy flow then creates our distortions, addictions, compulsions, and dependencies. Moreover, it feeds our inner critics.
The process of experiencing and observing emotions in the moment allows us to come to terms with them, aiding the process of accepting and letting them go, and no longer giving our emotions the power of controlling us in any way. Letting go is incredibly freeing!
Finally, practicing self-compassion is equally important. When we learn to feel compassion for ourselves, our light shines brighter! In being more self-compassionate, we are more patient and gentle with ourselves. And the more compassion we have for ourselves, the more kindness, sympathy, empathy, and compassion we have for others. True story.
Get in the practice of shedding light on your emotions and limiting beliefs, let go to allow that bright light of yours to shine brighter than ever! Who's with me!?
Perfectly Imperfect,
Stephanie
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