Short answer, yes! Moreover, it can change your life! It really can.
“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence” - Aristotle.
How is it that Aristotle, a Greek philosopher from 388 to 322 BC, knew and understood this concept quite clearly, and yet, today - thousands of years later - we are still struggling to understand the concept of what it means to find happiness?
I'll tell you why. It is because we have a flawed understanding of what makes a happy life or how to find happiness in our lives. We assume that or seek happiness from external sources. I was guilty of this myself, for many years!
Here's what that might look like.
We have this idea of was of what a romantic relationship should look like, and we expect our significant other to make us happy in various ways (I wrote a blog on expectations, check it out!).
The search for happiness can manifest in the form of addiction or strong impulses toward food, sex, drugs, video games, or anything else that allows us to temporarily escape our pain or loneliness. These things may give us pleasure, at least temporarily, and so they may be viewed as reliable ways to find a moment of happiness. We might not be able to control other aspects of our life, but we often have a sense of control over these things.
Other external sources of happiness might include the way we seek pleasure, excitement, and fun. There is nothing wrong with going out to parties, or spending time with friends, or seeking thrills in sports, hikes, or other adventures. In fact, these experiences are fulfilling and are important to our well-being. However, they cannot serve as the sole source of happiness and because we can't always have excitement during every moment of our lives. As such, our happiness and sense of contentment drop when we aren't doing these things.
When we are addicted to work or being busy, we might be seeking happiness from our successes at work. There is nothing wrong with working or working on big projects, but it must come from a place of joy, not from a place of loneliness. For many people, not being at work might leave them feeling lonely or withdrawn.
Anytime we seek pleasure or happiness from external sources, we experience superficial happiness which is short-lived and temporary because it depends so much on whether or not we are engaging in these activities.
Inner happiness does not depend on things, people, or activities to find pleasure in life.
True happiness or inner happiness is found when we have a profound satisfaction with life, with ourselves, and the life we've created. Happiness is predicted by having a sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. It is the joie de vivre!
Happiness is an ideal that implies a way of being, where inner happiness is lasting regardless of life's challenges and rarely fluctuates. Sure, we all have bad days, but a person who is truly happy does not allow the events of one bad day to influence their overall happiness.
To be truly happy, a person's sense of contentment with their life needs to come from within. Real happiness is internal. Having happiness centers on you and being aware that you are the only one responsible for your own happiness.
Happiness is adaptive, it is a frame of mind. Positivity and happiness are generally associated with people who are confident enough with their lives to explore their environments, approach new goals, challenge fears (both inner and external) and find contentment in their solitude. It is not just the result of positive outcomes, happiness causes the outcomes. It causes better health, improved work experience, better performance, and better relationships within the self and with others.
Inner happiness allows us to accept ourselves unconditionally.
Here's the truth, the outside world, including your relationships, only mirrors your inner emotional state and processes. You read that correctly! Your life (and external world) is a mirror of what you feel inside. There you have it. That's the truth! A harsh reality, but until you are willing to examine your inner self more closely, nothing will change!
Are you happy? Reflect on this question and listen to your intuition - it knows the truth. I will speak on this inner process of happiness in future posts. Stay tuned!
Until then, I wish you happiness and love. It took me a long time to find my inner happiness and I can tell you from experience, it is absolutely freeing and 100% worth the work.
Perfectly Imperfect,
Stephanie
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