Whatever structure you live or find yourself in, the results in your life will reflect that structure. Structure is everything. That is why I am so passionate about mindfulness because a simple mindfulness mindset shift, can change the structure you are in and immensely change the life you experience.
Let me make something really clear here. By shifting structure, life is not going to magically become perfect. That is what everyone expects. Let’s be real here – life isn’t perfect, and it never will be. Knowing this information, however, will help you gain greater awareness of yourself, in your life, so that you can be self-reflective and learn to accept things as they are, appreciate the good things in your life, and better cope with your life challenges.
By becoming more aware of your thoughts and emotions, you can choose to act differently and that is when the magic happens. Suddenly your life and the challenges you face become easier to deal with, and your new perspectives allow you to experience them differently.
Your stress decreases and your inner joy increases! It really is about how you choose to see things and the choices you make in the actions you take in life that determine the quality of life you will have…
Ok let’s take a look at these structures:
1) The Panic Structure
The panic structure is where 95% of the world’s population finds themselves. This is the structure in which people find themselves under tremendous amounts of stress. Largely because they are either being focused on the past, constantly focusing their energy on things that have already happened, ruminating about things that have happened to them, and how they are victims of the circumstances in their lives.
People in this structure also worry about the future, over things they are trying to understand or have control over which in reality is impossible. One cannot predict or control anything about the future. This is a concept so difficult for so many people. They try to plan, and while planning is important to a degree, planning to control every detail of events, circumstances, or situations that have yet to happen, is impossible.
Self-sabotaging behaviors are also included in this category. People who live their lives in this structure may be dealing with low self-worth, sacrificing their beliefs, values, or self to fit in, please others or feel loved. Self-sabotaging behaviors are unconscious unmet childhood needs that are at the root of our behavior and choices. We don't realize it, but our deep unconscious need to fulfill a void (unmet needs) can surface in how we choose to relate to others, and our lives, and in some cases, over-giving of ourselves to feel of worth.
On the other hand, there are extremely selfish people, who are in it for themselves and because they have struggled in their own life, they are not emotionally capable of giving of themselves. When you give too much of yourself to fill a void or refuse to give anything at all, both of these mindsets are indicative of patterns found within the panic structure.
Another characteristic that may indicate a person is in the panic structure is their constant need to criticize of others. You may find yourself picking the faults in others, always finding things about people (strangers or people you love alike) you don’t like rather than paying attention to the good things or aspects they have to offer. I get it, we are all human and as humans, we criticize – I do it too. To get out of this structure, we must catch ourselves and stop!
People in this structure may focus a lot of their energy on things they do not have, rather than on what they do have. They often verbalize what they wish they could have and never or rarely appreciate what they do have. They are constantly striving for the next best thing, rather than just accepting life and things as they are.
People may complain all the time, about people or over things they cannot control. They may be very selfish in your relationships, or in their interactions with others and may even engage in destructive behaviors. A person in this structure is always spreading bad or negative information.
By focusing on the problems in your life, you are observing the problem in reality. What I mean by that is, that you are taking action to have something go away, and by focusing all your energy on the problem, you create a focal point in your life on which you waste energy trying to resolve.
What you resist will own you. As long as you are focused on resisting the things you don’t want in your life, guess what? It will never go away!! The focus on trying to solve or fix unwanted circumstances or problems creates a lifetime of unsuccessful manifestations and total frustration.
2) The Awareness Structure
Ok, so the next structure is the awareness structure. In this structure, people generally consider how to be better for themselves and for others. Their focus is on becoming more acutely aware of their emotions and thoughts and how these impact their actions as well as others.
People in this structure self-assess or check in with themselves regularly to identify and recognize how they are feeling in the moment, and are able to control their thoughts and feelings rather than being controlled by them. They are self-reflective in the moment which means they are aware of their emotional triggers, appreciate the moment for what it is, and let go of the things they cannot control.
In this structure, people focus on the good, the wise, and the healthy. They learn to control their inner critic and self-sabotaging behavior. This requires a lot of time and practice, but once mastered, they managed to quiet or at best, completely silence that critic.
This is where I currently find myself. And, friends, it is a journey! I still sometimes find myself trailing back into the panic structure, but by being more aware of my thoughts and paying closer attention to my reactions and behavior, I can more easily bring myself back into the awareness structure.
The awareness I am referring to here is simply paying attention and self-assessing. With greater control over my thoughts and feelings, I can decide how I choose how to "be" at any given moment.
In this structure, we become more mindful!
3) The Power Structure
In this structure, people understand that problems or life challenges are opportunities for growth. They face each problem with determination and keep an open mind to finding the proper solution. They actively seek wise information and are not easily swayed by the or no longer need to seek the opinion of others. They do things that work for them, feel good and that is in the best interest of their being or their family.
They are true to their being – their values and beliefs are in line with who they truly are and nothing outside of themselves can affect or negatively impact their self-worth.
They show gratitude for all they have, the people in their lives, and for everything, no matter how seemingly small. They can set healthy boundaries for themselves as required, not allowing toxicity or drama to control their lives.
They have found true inner happiness and are no longer searching for external sources of pleasure or happiness. Everything they do is out of pure pleasure, and no external issue can destroy their sense of inner contentment. They are just as happy doing the things they love with others or being by themselves. They accept themselves and things as they are. They practice unconditional self-acceptance and they are a true image of self-expansion.
People in this structure trust themselves. They also are satisfied with their lives right now, even with their imperfections. They are a source of hope for others.
In this structure, the focus is not on fixing oneself but rather on accepting what is.
I strive to be in the power structure every day. For the most part, I feel like I have succeeded on many levels, but I am also aware enough to know that there I still have some journey ahead of me, and that is ok! I understand that as long as I continue to strive for it and make small changes every day, I will get there. And so can you!
I am not afraid or embarrassed to admit that I am still working through my inner critics and limiting beliefs. I struggle with letting go of my ego and keeping my mind open to some ironclad ideas I am holding onto as a result of past traumas and events that happened to me as a child.
Every day I take some time to reflect on my life and on the thing I need to let go of, and even after feeling like I have worked through all of it, somehow, my unconscious mind pushes up new things for me to look at. It's like as I work through one layer, I give space for a new layer to come up - it feels never-ending, BUT, in working through all of it, I have found confidence, self-love, and self-acceptance.
My mind is finally freeing itself from the shackle (my limiting beliefs) of my past and is opening up to new information, ideas and experiences. No one said it was easy, but what I can tell you is that, after years of doing this work, one this is for sure, my mind is finally quiet and that is freedom!
Feel free to share your story - which structure are you in? What is keeping you there? And how can you overcome it? Take some time to reflect on your limiting beliefs and how they might be impacting you, your choices, and your behaviors today. It can seem overwhelming, but with every layer you shed, eventually, you begin to feel lighter and lighter...
Until next time!
Perfectly Imperfect,
Stephanie
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