“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.” Louise Hay
Beliefs influence everything. They influence our relationships, our preferences, our likes our dislikes, our morals; basically, our lives. Beliefs are life!
Core values and beliefs are formed through our experiences, relationships and other circumstances we have lived through throughout our childhood. As human beings, we have a natural tendency to "make-meaning" or define an experience, circumstance or relationship by the meaning we give it depending on how we felt in that particular moment. From the time we are very young, we learn from our experiences and on an unconscious level, we give them labels; emotional labels, so to speak, and we internalize these as values or beliefs. The labels become part of our subconscious and from then on, they influence our lives and how we choose to live it.
How do limiting beliefs work?
Just as living with our inner values helps us lead a fulfilling and meaningful life, limiting beliefs can prevent us from living a fulfilling life. Limiting beliefs not only prevent us from reaching beyond ourselves, they also make us believe that we are less than we can be. They act as a distorting lens through which we tend to view opportunities as challenges. This lens represents a warped sense of reality and keep us stuck in a past that is no longer relevant. Limiting beliefs work deep down in the psyche and behave like invisible forces that prevent us from being our best self. Limiting beliefs mask reality.
Limiting beliefs are always hidden. When we are faced with a decision, our limiting beliefs are quietly influencing our decisions and choices from deep within our subconscious. We don't notice it, but, our beliefs are fuelled by approval or disapproval of others and they manipulate our subconscious mind by tricking our conscious mind into believing our weaknesses, insecurities and our limitations.
Limiting beliefs can make themselves felt in several ways. They might display as a lack of passion or through insecurities and inner fears. Limiting beliefs prevent us from seeing and taking on new opportunities, from taking chances for fear of failure or rejection. The worst part is that they hold so much power, but, only because we allow them to grip into our minds and remain in control.
A lack of motivation is a sign that limiting beliefs are suffocating your mind. Fatigue, exhaustion, can lead to inadequate levels of energy leaving little energy to do things you enjoy. When we experience a lack of energy it may be a result of repeated doubts and insecurities that infiltrate our minds at every opportunity they get. Doubts and insecurities are like a broken record that plays in our mind -- you know, the one that questions our worth and tells us we aren't good enough (or something along those lines) -- well it requires a tremendous amount of energy to keep that record spinning, which can lead to exhaustion.
Chronic procrastination; one word: fear. Fear of failure; fear of rejection; just plain fear. Fear stops us from seeking anything outside of our comfort. This can lead to us never truly venturing beyond and keeping us from exploring and discovering what we are truly capable of. I was scared for a long time; I succumbed to my limiting beliefs for so long that they prevented me from being my authentic self. My biggest fear was rejection, which stems from my childhood (I know this now). I no longer worry about what others think of me. I am who I am, flaws and all. I do what makes me happy, I try new things, and I am slowly putting myself out there. I am writing this blog now!! Seemingly a little thing but, for me, this is huge!
Taking on too much at a time is a coping mechanism we adopt as an avoidance tactic; avoiding change or avoiding facing insecurities, feelings and/or hurts. Facing our feelings, insecurities and hurts is a lot to be accountable for, especially if we have been hiding from our emotions for so long, but a future of self- and unconditional acceptance requires us to acknowledge and face our pain. It is a process that for many is very painful, but before change, transformation and true inner happiness can be achieved, we must face our hurts.
What can you do to identify and overcome your limiting beliefs?
Begin by identifying your passions. What do you care about? What do you value the most? What do you feel passionate about? Find what matters to you and make it happen. It can be as simple as taking up an old hobby or as grand as re-kindling a friendship with someone you've missed and didn't have the courage to call. The idea is to identify with your core values and live by them. The minute we begin making a plan to do something we love, our subconscious mind begins to stop telling us that we cannot do something. The limiting beliefs begin to dissolve in light of our intentions and plan.
Start slow, go easy on yourself and begin by setting small, realistic and achievable goals. Do what matters to and works for you!
Boost your self-confidence! It is time we take control of our self-worth! We must stop basing our self-worth on external factors or on the approval of others and begin creating new labels for ourselves. Acknowledge, accept and let go of old sabotaging beliefs. They will creep up from time to time and frequently at the beginning, but in time, their volume will decrease to a point where they will disappear from your mind. It takes time, but the more conscious of them we are, and the more active we are at silencing them, the easier it gets.
Another great way to overcome limiting beliefs is by being open to change. Fear may be difficult to overcome, but to achieve and overcome our limits, we must move beyond our comfort. Start small, grow from there.
Finally, set boundaries. Do not accept anything less than kindness and respect from others. Everyone who gives respect deserves to be treated with respect and have their boundaries respected. Life is not a competition, we do not need to judge ourselves every step of the way. Just love and love hard, and accept imperfections because no one is perfect. It is ok to set boundaries for people who do not respect you. Recognize that you, too, are imperfect and be humble about it.
I want to finish this blog post with saying that some of you will relate to some of the topics I write about, and some of you will not and, and that's ok. My goals here is is simply to share a little bit of my story and how I use mindfulness to become a better version of myself. I am not perfect, and not everything I say will be perfect, but know that it comes from a place of love, and I can only hope my words will help someone along the way.
So for those of you who are reading my posts and who continue to support me, thank you!
Perfectly Imperfect,
Stephanie
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